Pittsburgh Penguins: Great Player Names of the 2000’s

When you hit the off-season, players come and go, and the Pittsburgh Penguins roster is looking a bit different thus far. With these changes come new faces – and names- for Penguin fans to root for.

Whenever you join a new club, you want to make an impact. You want to be recognized, have the crowd chant your name all the way up to the nosebleeds. And I have to say, these guys the Pittsburgh Penguins brought in have some great hockey names.

Ryan Reaves is a great example. One of the scariest guys in the league and his last name is Reaves. Sounds like he could have been a villain in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series. And bonus point for the alliteration. The 6’1″ forward recorded 13 points last season to go along with 104 PIMs. It seems he has taken a liking to his new identity as “The Sheriff”, but I think “Reaves the Reaper” has a nice ring to it.

Joining Reaves as a new member of the Penguins is depth forward Greg McKegg. I am ecstatic about this signing. Not because he is an offensive juggernaut or the answer at third line center, but because his name is Greg McKegg. With a name that rhymes (and could possibly fetch him an Iron City endorsement ), no one is going to mind when the 25-year-old cracks the lineup. He ended last season with 7 points in 46 games played.

What’s in a name?

It goes to show that no matter how small the role is, a player can find a place in Penguin lore with a great name. So I got to thinking, and scoured the all time Pittsburgh Penguins roster. My findings have led me to construct the ‘All Hockey Name’ Team of the 2000’s. These guys represent some of the greatest/bizarre names to ever grace a Penguins sweater.

The guidelines are as follows:

1. The player has to have played at least 1 game in the 2000’s for the Pittsburgh Penguins

2. The stats or general contribution to the team carries no weight here, it’s all about the name

3. We like alliteration, general zaniness, and great European names that really roll of the tongue

So without further, lets begin by introducing the honorable mentions.

Here we have a decent crop of hockey talent with even better names. While they didn’t make it to the our final round, they still sport some exceptional monikers.

Rico Fata

(Fat-A)
120 GP, 47 Points, 74 PIMs 2002-2006

Rico Fata. Short, sweet, to the point. Fata spent 3 season with the Pens, and was a fan favorite during a time when the fans didn’t have much to go on. He nearly makes the ‘All – Name’ Team on Rico alone, but it’s going to take a bit more against this competition.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Jarkko Ruutu

(Yar-Ko, Roo-Too)
152 GP, 32 Points, 263 PIMs 2006-2008

The feisty Finnish instigator played 152 games for the Pens over 2 seasons. He logged 263 PIMs in that time, and was usually barraged with resounding chants of “RUUUUUU” when ever he managed to pot a goal.

Luca Caputi

9 GP, 3 Points, 6 PIMs 2008 -2010

While Luca Caputi only played a handful of games with the Pittsburgh Penguins, he did manage to score a goal on his very first NHL shift. Not bad. A name like Luca is always going to score you points on the ‘All – Name’ Team. And with Caputi to back it up?  Fahgettaboudit! (Get it?)

Harry Zolnierczyk

(Zole-Ner-Chuck)
13 GP, 2 Points, 12 PIMs 2013-2014

You gotta love the way ‘Zolnierczyk’ looks on the back of a jersey. Like someone just grabbed some Scrabble tiles and threw them at the wall. Harry Z was a product of Brown University, and like his last name, he was wild on the ice.

Daniel Sprong

18 GP, 2 Points, 0 PIMs 2015-?

Hey we recognize him! The Flying Dutchman has a chance to crack the lineup this season for the Penguins.

Yes, this means Sprong may be sprung.

It might be a real Sprong show.

Awful puns aside, it might only be a matter of time until we hear Bob Errey growling about how he “loves the way Danny Sprong skates with that puck!”

Of course before we reveal the true all-stars, we have to honor the second team. These guys have some quality names, just ripe for nicknames or chants.

F Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond

(Pierre – Luke, Laturno-La-Blonde)
1 GP, 0 Points, 0 PIMs, 2013

The man known as P-L L-L has a whimsically contagious last name. He suited up in just one game for the Pittsburgh Penguins, but it was enough for him to make our Second Team of All Hockey Names.

F Konstantin Koltsov

(Colt-Soff)
144 GP, 38 Points, 50 PIMs 2002-2006

Konstantin Koltsov makes the cut thanks to that killer alliteration and the fact his name sounds like a playable character from GoldenEye 007 on Nintendo 64. Koltsov was a first round pick in 1999, and was the first Russian Penguin to wear 71 on his jersey.

F Miroslav Satan

(Meero-Slawv, Sha-Tan)
65 GP, 36 Points, 36 PIMs 2008-2009

Miro Satan never became a member of the New Jersey Devils, but he did play a stint with the Penguins. And thanks to the ’09 Championship, the word SATAN is engraved on the Stanley Cup. Although it’s pronounced differently, this Slovak might just own the most metal name in the history of hockey.

D Ben Lovejoy

184 GP, 38 Points 101 PIMs 2008-2016

It seems poetic that a name so eloquent as Lovejoy would line up after Satan. “The Reverend” celebrated his name, and even sports (an edited) homage to the Simpsons character on Twitter. That’s dedication.

D Carl Sneep

1 GP, 1 Point, 0 PIMs 2011-2012

The man’s name is Carl Sneep. Show some respect.

G Garth Snow

35 GP, 14 Wins, 2.98 GAA, .900 SV% 2000-2001

Ah yes, Ned Stark’s other forgotten illegitimate child, Garth Snow.  Snow rounds out the Second All Hockey Name team in net. An instant classic in a Penguin jersey, but Snow works as the GM for the New York Islanders theses days.