Pittsburgh Penguins: 5 Tips to Avoid Being Called a Bandwagon Fan

1) Don’t be Unbearable

This is almost certainly the hypothetical most-effective strategy, attacking the problem upstream so that it never actually becomes a problem. The basic premise is that people are generally only triggered into called someone a ‘bandwagoner’ if they’re acting obnoxious, over the top or in your face, especially when celebrating their team’s successes or insulting other teams’ failures.

If you can cut out that part of your persona, then you should ideally be in the clear. However, that is essentially the entire fun of being a sports fan.  I’ve never once met a single one that doesn’t act exactly like that so this likely isn’t an option for the overwhelming majority of you.

2) Talk About Pittsburgh Penguins Prospects:

The great thing about casual NHL fans as a whole (if I may make a gross generalization) is that the majority of their hockey knowledge is pretty much whatever nonsensical and poorly researched topic the crew at NBC Sports (CBC Hockey Night in Canada for Canadians obviously) discussed on the broadcast that night. Due to their very limited ability to talk about things that aren’t in line with this narrative, if you can discuss anything outside of that, you can quickly prove you’re a real fan, and mentioning prospects is a great way to accomplish this relatively easily.

Examples you can use include “Daniel Sprong really lit up the Q last year, I wonder if he’ll get a shot with the big club, his release is quite impressive” or “Man, Teddy Blueger and Adam Johnson are really having a great training camp, I really like their hockey sense and fresh legs, I think they can do some big things” or even “Zach Aston-Reese reminds me of a young Chris Kunitz, I love how he gets into the corners and does the dirty work, really helps to open things up on the ice”.

Bonus: if its a serious hockey fan, you get to have a fun conversation about Penguins prospects, its a win-win!

3. Post a Fake Family Throwback Pic:

One of the surefire ways to prove you’re a real fan is seeming to be carrying on some long-held family tradition. However, if your parents are anything like mine their interests have nothing to do with Pittsburgh and are dumb and completely unrelated, like car shows or watching golf or volunteering, all of which is useless to you.

However, even just a cursory Google search of penguins + mother/father + son/daughter or penguins + grandma/pa + grandson/daughter reveals a plethora of very cute and believable images you can steal and post on your social media. It’ll prove your family has been proud supporters of the Pens for literally their entire existence.

***Update: If you actually search that it just gives really cute pictures of actual penguins, so- be more specific. I can only search so much.

4. Publicly Hate on Sidney Crosby:

People love to hate on those who are better/more talented than us. Jesus was nailed to a cross, Sidney Crosby gets booed in opposing arenas (is that comparison blasphemy??). This is born out of a foundation of backward jealousy, but this isn’t the place to get into it. The point is other fans believe that 98% of us are only around because of Crosby; maybe if you throw around light insults  (“he’s not as good as Jonathan Toews”, etc.) you can prove that’s not the case.

Plus, if you secretly cross your fingers when you say it, it obviously doesn’t count and isn’t true so you’re in the clear. This strategy works especially well if combined with a statement confirming that your favorite player is someone objectively terrible and/or uninteresting (think along the lines of Tom Kuhnhackl here).

5. Support other Pittsburgh Teams

If someone tells you their favorite teams are the Penguins, Golden State Warriors and New England Patriots, its almost obvious they’re a fake fan. And that if you’d have asked them 4 years you could swap out Penguins for Blackhawks and Warriors for Miami Heat (and still the stupid Patriots cause they’re always so damn good, God I hate them).

BUT, if they say they’re a Penguins, Pirates and Steelers fan, that sounds a lot like a through-and-through Pittsburgh fan,  true or not. Again, similarly, if you choose other teams that are objectively horrible and boring (Pirates, Pittsburgh University Men’s Football + Basketball, etc.) its going to work all that much better.

Next: 3 Expectations For the Pens this Season

In closing, I’d just like to say that I’ve never actually been called a bandwagoner.  This is more of a hypothetical topic ,to me, I guess, so I’m not sure how relatable this post is. However, I’m sure that these tips can be helpful to any new Pittsburgh Penguins fan. I won’t tell if you wont.

Welcome to the team.