Several weeks ago, and shortly after the 10-1 humiliation at the hands of the Blackhawks (the second most offensive thing they’ve done in my eyes, far far behind anything to do with their name, logo or mascot) I wrote an article focusing on why I didn’t think the Pittsburgh Penguins would make the playoffs this year, demonstrating the most extreme of Stanley Cup hangovers, however this was not published.
With the lackluster play of the Penguins my old article idea is still relevant weeks later! Here’s the new updated, condensed reasons why the Penguins won’t make the playoffs this year, I promise it’ll be a breeze:
Lack of Motivation.
You’re the best team ever. Then you’re the best team ever again the next year. What rational person would ever feel an intense urge to immediately reach that level again? No one, cause its crazy and downright selfish.
They’ve played a lot.
Imagine in order to prove you’re the best at what you do, you have to do it way more than anyone else. And as a reward you get way less vacation. I bet you’re probably tired and want a longer vacation. Ties into #1.
Pittsburgh Penguins
Complete Lack of Depth.
Crosby, Kessel, Malkin, Letang and Murray are hypothetically awesome. Everyone else literally sucks. Ryan Reaves + Riley Sheahan + Greg McKegg ≠ Matt Cullen, Chris Kunitz and Nick Bonino from last year. That’s a problem potentially if superstars aren’t playing well.
Superstars Aren’t Playing Well.
Take away the existence of powerplays and all those players have more or less zero points. Murray has been doing his best Antti Niemi impression every 2 or 3 games. Everyone else has sucked.
There is injury history that’s difficult to ignore.
Ideal first ¼ of the season in terms of injuries and the team is on pace for like 80 points. Injuries to any of the players making our powerplay work would be devastating (ie Malkin in the last two games, both loses). Remember all those players from #1 have extensive injury histories. Also remember, everyone else still sucks.
Last Year was a crazy fluke.
Got outshot every game + played goalies who were offensively bad in almost every series + Have MA Fleury of all people be your best playoff player = Win everything. Rare formula that likely won’t happen again. How do I know?
Because that’s what’s happening this year.
Still brutal at preventing defence + not enough depth to produce consistent offence + best players not getting puck luck = perfectly healthy penguins on pace to barely if at all, make the playoffs
To recap: playing badly so far with no puck luck + no any significant injuries yet + terrible depth + continued inability to play adequate defence = Penguins are big sucky sucks and we’ll all be bored in May and June with no playoffs to watch.