Of course before we reveal the true all-stars, we have to honor the second team. These guys have some quality names, just ripe for nicknames or chants.
F Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond
(Pierre – Luke, Laturno-La-Blonde)
1 GP, 0 Points, 0 PIMs, 2013
The man known as P-L L-L has a whimsically contagious last name. He suited up in just one game for the Pittsburgh Penguins, but it was enough for him to make our Second Team of All Hockey Names.
F Konstantin Koltsov
(Colt-Soff)
144 GP, 38 Points, 50 PIMs 2002-2006
Konstantin Koltsov makes the cut thanks to that killer alliteration and the fact his name sounds like a playable character from GoldenEye 007 on Nintendo 64. Koltsov was a first round pick in 1999, and was the first Russian Penguin to wear 71 on his jersey.
F Miroslav Satan
(Meero-Slawv, Sha-Tan)
65 GP, 36 Points, 36 PIMs 2008-2009
Miro Satan never became a member of the New Jersey Devils, but he did play a stint with the Penguins. And thanks to the ’09 Championship, the word SATAN is engraved on the Stanley Cup. Although it’s pronounced differently, this Slovak might just own the most metal name in the history of hockey.
D Ben Lovejoy
184 GP, 38 Points 101 PIMs 2008-2016
It seems poetic that a name so eloquent as Lovejoy would line up after Satan. “The Reverend” celebrated his name, and even sports (an edited) homage to the Simpsons character on Twitter. That’s dedication.
It's a great day for hockey
— ben lovejoy (@RevLovejoy6) March 3, 2015
D Carl Sneep
1 GP, 1 Point, 0 PIMs 2011-2012
The man’s name is Carl Sneep. Show some respect.
G Garth Snow
35 GP, 14 Wins, 2.98 GAA, .900 SV% 2000-2001
Ah yes, Ned Stark’s other forgotten illegitimate child, Garth Snow. Snow rounds out the Second All Hockey Name team in net. An instant classic in a Penguin jersey, but Snow works as the GM for the New York Islanders theses days.