Pittsburgh Penguins: 5 Tips to Avoid Being Called a Bandwagon Fan

Are you new to the whole ‘Pittsburgh Penguins’ thing and want to prove you aren’t a fan just because you feel like it? Well, you’re in the right place. Us Penguins fans love any and all Pens fans, and we aren’t afraid to give you some tips on how to seamlessly blend in.

One of the many flaws of general society is an innate desire to bring down those around us who seem happier or more fulfilled, brought on of course by deep, dark and very powerful personal insecurities. One way in which this manifests is through the malicious accusations of fans of successful teams being ‘bandwagoners’.

Pittsburgh Penguins

While mean spirited, the use of this term is of course true in almost 100% of cases, even as most of us stubbornly and obliviously think otherwise. I certainly in my heart of hearts know that if Pittsburgh truly sucked, I wouldn’t have painted my bedroom black and yellow, or flown to see a Penguins game with my mom for my Sweet 16 or write on an unpaid, volunteer basis for a low-level Penguins blog site.

With that being said though, no one wants to be discovered as a bandwagoner, there’s literally nothing more humiliating. As fans of a team that has won back-to-back championships, we are prime targets for this type of accusation. Therefore to combat this, I’ve gathered together the top strategies to utilize to convince/trick your peers into believing you are a true, actual Penguins fan:

1) Don’t be Unbearable

This is almost certainly the hypothetical most-effective strategy, attacking the problem upstream so that it never actually becomes a problem. The basic premise is that people are generally only triggered into called someone a ‘bandwagoner’ if they’re acting obnoxious, over the top or in your face, especially when celebrating their team’s successes or insulting other teams’ failures.

If you can cut out that part of your persona, then you should ideally be in the clear. However, that is essentially the entire fun of being a sports fan.  I’ve never once met a single one that doesn’t act exactly like that so this likely isn’t an option for the overwhelming majority of you.

3. Post a Fake Family Throwback Pic:

One of the surefire ways to prove you’re a real fan is seeming to be carrying on some long-held family tradition. However, if your parents are anything like mine their interests have nothing to do with Pittsburgh and are dumb and completely unrelated, like car shows or watching golf or volunteering, all of which is useless to you.

However, even just a cursory Google search of penguins + mother/father + son/daughter or penguins + grandma/pa + grandson/daughter reveals a plethora of very cute and believable images you can steal and post on your social media. It’ll prove your family has been proud supporters of the Pens for literally their entire existence.

***Update: If you actually search that it just gives really cute pictures of actual penguins, so- be more specific. I can only search so much.

4. Publicly Hate on Sidney Crosby:

People love to hate on those who are better/more talented than us. Jesus was nailed to a cross, Sidney Crosby gets booed in opposing arenas (is that comparison blasphemy??). This is born out of a foundation of backward jealousy, but this isn’t the place to get into it. The point is other fans believe that 98% of us are only around because of Crosby; maybe if you throw around light insults  (“he’s not as good as Jonathan Toews”, etc.) you can prove that’s not the case.

Plus, if you secretly cross your fingers when you say it, it obviously doesn’t count and isn’t true so you’re in the clear. This strategy works especially well if combined with a statement confirming that your favorite player is someone objectively terrible and/or uninteresting (think along the lines of Tom Kuhnhackl here).

5. Support other Pittsburgh Teams

If someone tells you their favorite teams are the Penguins, Golden State Warriors and New England Patriots, its almost obvious they’re a fake fan. And that if you’d have asked them 4 years you could swap out Penguins for Blackhawks and Warriors for Miami Heat (and still the stupid Patriots cause they’re always so damn good, God I hate them).

BUT, if they say they’re a Penguins, Pirates and Steelers fan, that sounds a lot like a through-and-through Pittsburgh fan,  true or not. Again, similarly, if you choose other teams that are objectively horrible and boring (Pirates, Pittsburgh University Men’s Football + Basketball, etc.) its going to work all that much better.

Next: 3 Expectations For the Pens this Season

In closing, I’d just like to say that I’ve never actually been called a bandwagoner.  This is more of a hypothetical topic ,to me, I guess, so I’m not sure how relatable this post is. However, I’m sure that these tips can be helpful to any new Pittsburgh Penguins fan. I won’t tell if you wont.

Welcome to the team.