Which Star Wars Character Would Your Favorite Pittsburgh Penguin Be?

It was Star Wars night last night at PPG Paints Arena, and the scrappy Rebellion upset the Empire 5-3 in what felt like a high speed podrace on Tatooine.

The Penguins media team put out a sick rendition of the Rogue One poster, replacing the faces of the Rebel fighters with different Penguins as well as putting several Oilers players over the Imperial Stormtroopers.

That got me thinking, if our beloved Penguins were whisked into the Star Wars universe, which characters would they be? WARNING: Major Spoilers ahead!

Michael Bunting as a young Han Solo

First off, let it be known that this is coming from a die-hard Penguins fan and a die-hard Star Wars fan. Solo: A Star Wars Story was an absolute blast in the theaters and featured some iconic scenes that I always gravitate towards.

The movie explores the origin story of Han Solo, one of the galaxy's greatest scoundrels.

Michael Bunting fits Alden Ehrenreich's adaptation of Han Solo perfectly. Cocky, witty, has a devious smile, and doesn't back down from a scrap. Even the way Han Solo speaks in this film is very reminiscent of Bunting.

I mean, just listen to this interview. He's even a card player! Maybe he'll win the Millennium Falcon from Bryan Rust in a game of Sabacc.

P.O. Joseph as young Lando Calrissian

Sorry Rusty, but P.O. Joseph is our Lando Calrissian. He profiles as a ladies' man, a niche fan favorite, and it truly would not shock me if P.O. owned a LEGO Millennium Falcon set. When I watch this scene I can't help but see P.O.'s handsome, suave demeanor and hear his light French Canadian accent at the Sabacc table as he shows his Grade A smile.

Joseph, similarly to Bunting (Han) is always prepared to throw hands, and don't forget that Joseph is a sneaky good shot. Just look at this snipe.

The next thing we need to see is a card game between Michael Bunting and P.O. Joseph. Winner gets the LEGO Millennium Falcon. Make it happen, Penguins.

Erik Karlsson as Qui-Gon Jinn

I mean come on. Before Erik Karlsson cut his hair, he was a spitting image of Qui-Gon Jinn with the long face, the mustache, the beard, and the long, flowing hair.

While Erik Karlsson's personality doesn't exactly fit the role of Liam Neeson's Qui-Gon Jinn, his play on the ice most definitely does.

Karlsson is a maverick. His take on being a defenseman is very, well...offensive. Qui-Gon Jinn held very unique views on the Force and its role. He often used Jedi mind tricks to get what he needed, and he even abused the Force to influence the roll of a die when determining the fate of young Anakin Skywalker.

The Jedi are supposed to be peacekeepers, yet Karlsson and Qui-Gon are more than willing to get in a fight when the fate hangs in the balance. Karlsson has a sneaky, veteran way of influencing situations just like Qui-Gon, and both of them are offensively minded despite their roles suggesting they should be more defensive.

Even still, there is a defensive side about Karlsson and Qui-Gon. Karlsson has been killing penalties recently, and he's been much more noticeable in the defensive zone as well. Qui-Gon will take his moments to sit and meditate while the ray shields are up, but the moment they come down, it's right on to going after Darth Maul in the duel of the fates.

Sidney Crosby as Obi-Wan Kenobi

I wanted to be very careful when making comparisons with two all-time greats, but I think this is the best option for Sid (and, frankly, I'm sure you would have been disappointed if the Captain wasn't on here).

There are many iterations of Obi-Wan that us Star Wars fans have the opportunity to consume, and I think all of them are very comparable to Sidney Crosby. He starts out as a brash Padawan that tries to make his way up the ranks in the Jedi Order just like Sid in his first couple years in the NHL trying to live up to his hype.

Then, Obi-Wan defeats Darth Maul, which was the first time a Jedi had (allegedly) killed a Sith Lord in over 1,000 years. And crazy enough, Obi-Wan initially lost the fight, but his resolve led him to winning it in the end. You can see the same traits in a young Crosby taking down the Evil Empire Detroit Red Wings to win the Stanley Cup in 2009 after first losing to them in 2008. The comparisons are undeniable.

Crosby made a name for himself at a young age, and Obi-Wan did too. Obi-Wan, canonically, became the youngest Jedi Master in the history of the Jedi Order. Crosby became the youngest team captain in NHL history and the youngest player to score 100 points in a season.

Even now, in his elder years, Crosby is still a top tier veteran whose production is rivaling that of players 10 years younger than him. Obi-Wan never fell off either. In his final bout with Darth Maul while protecting young Luke Skywalker, the veteran Jedi Master proved that he still had it in him. Just a little stick lift and an unsuspecting slice through the chest to finish it.

And again I'm back on the hair. Sid and Obi-Wan's hair gets shorter as they age. Maybe my next comparison thread will just be about hairstyles. Anyways, the Force is strong with this one.

Evgeni Malkin as Chewbacca

I've always gotten Chewbacca vibes with Evgeni Malkin. Big, lumbering, strong, and will indeed rip your arms out of socket if provoked. Even Geno's choice of clothing helps my argument. Just look at this fur coat!

If Chewbacca played ice hockey with all 7'5" of his muscular frame, he would undoubtedly profile like Malkin - a hard hitter with a powerful shot who isn't afraid to be the all-time team leader in penalty minutes. And when he gets going, he will not be denied.

And of course we have to consider how both of them have two of the most iconic nicknames in their respective universe: Chewie and Geno, both derived from their given name with a small adjustment for a short and sweet quick-hitter.

Chewbacca has always been a fan favorite, but at the same time he's been perennially underrated. Same thing with Malkin. He's been amongst the best in NHL history, yet doesn't get nearly enough credit for how amazing he's been.

Geno profiles as a tough guy like Chewie, but deep down inside he's a softie and a compelling character. But don't approach him with that idea or, again, he might rip your arms out of socket or blow you to smithereens with his crossbow...or an AT-ST.

I also can't help but be reminded of this incredible line in Solo: A Star Wars Story when it comes to Geno. I'm telling you, this movie is great. (just listen to the music).

I can just picture a young Penguin like Owen Pickering saying, "You're 38 years-old? You look great!"

While Sidney Crosby might not be Han Solo, Evgeni Malkin functions as the perfect co-pilot for this vintage Penguins team. Every good crew needs one, and you won't find a better one than Geno.

I could go on, but perhaps I'll save some more comparisons for another time. Since the Penguins are off today, why don't you spend your Friday binging all the Star Wars movies and shows. It'll only take you 350 hours!